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If you are planning to leave an abusive situation you should make the following preparation to protect yourself in case a dangerous situation arises:

  • Have an extra set of house and car keys made and hide them in a place where you’ll be able to get them easily in an emergency.
  • Make a list of telephone numbers to call in an emergency; individual shelter phone numbers, 232–HELP, 911.
  • Keep emergency supply of money; put aside enough money for a cab and one or more nights in a motel.
  • Stash some clothes at a neighbor’s house or at your job.
  • Discuss with your children how you will handle an emergency situation and arrange to leave together
  • Children’s birth certificates and social security cards
  • Children’s immunization records
  • Legal papers
  • Bank books
  • Your social security card and your husbands social security number
  • Your identification
  • Get your and your children’s prescribed medications when you leave; make sure to remember your birth control pills
  • Plan where to go. Try not to be isolated. Contact the police, a trusted friend, relative or minister, or call Faith House 232-8954 or the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). This hotline as well as Faith House is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to provide information, advise and counseling.

If you must stay in a relationship that involves battering, it’s very important that you protect yourself and your children. You must have a plan of action for when a situation becomes dangerous. The first step in seeking help is telling someone about the problem. It may be hard to talk about the abuse and you may be ashamed of what’s happened, but once you do you’ll have someone to contact when you need to leave a dangerous situation.

Next, you need to find out what resources are available to help you. Your doctor or librarian can refer you to local organizations. You can also consult the yellow pages or call 1–800–799–7233.

Third, you need to recognize the signs of oncoming violence. Just as dark clouds can signal a thunderstorm, look for signs that may signal the start of an angry mood and make plans to leave the house before things get out of control. Don’t wait for an eruption. Leave as soon as you think danger is developing. This will help you start to break the cycle of violence, which many couples experience over and over again. Without professional help, however, the batterer will most often become abusive again.

   
  • During an argument, or if you feel tension building, avoid areas in your home where weapons might be available – the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom or workshops.
  • If there are weapons in your household such as firearms – lock them up!
  • Know where there is a safe exit from your home – a window, elevator or stairwell.
  • Discuss the situation with a trusted neighbor if you can. Ask them to call 911 if they hear a disturbance. Find a code word to use with them if you need the police.
  • Always keep a packed bag ready.
  • Know where you would go to be safe if you have to leave, even if you don’t really think you need to.

    • Remember that no one ever deserves to be abused.
    It is not your fault!

    • Change locks on doors, windows, car, etc.
    • Install Security System or use homemade signals such as chimes/bells.
    • Install Motion Detector Lighting outside & make sure all lights work properly.
    • Get a telephone answering machine to record threatening messages & allow you to take only the calls you choose to take without anyone knowing you are home.
    • Get a cellular phone & keep it charged at all times. Home lines can be cut.
    • Make sure your house number or apartment number is clearly visible in case emergency help is called to come to your house.
    • Get a Restraining Order (or protective order or stay–away order) & keep the original on your person at all times. Also, give copies to employers, schools, daycares, or anyone who you or your children spend a lot of time with. Alert your childcare providers about who has permission to pick up your children.
    • Tell neighbors, landlord, & housing security guards you do not want your abuser around your house. Show them a picture of him & let them know what he drives.
    • If you trust someone at work, tell them of your safety concerns and ask them to alert you & security if your abuser comes to your worksite. Have someone at work screen your calls if possible.
    • When leaving a building, ask someone to walk out with you.
    • Change all your habits if possible:
      • Take a different route home
      • Go to a different Church
      • Use a different bank or grocery store
      • Change the times you usually do things so that your abuser cannot find you based on your daily routines that he knows about.
 
 

Faith House Mission Statement: To provide temporary shelter, safety, empowerment and advocacy, to women and children survivors of domestic violence. To promote change through community collaboration, education and violence prevention programs.

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